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How should I break the news of divorce to my kids?

On Behalf of | Dec 18, 2020 | Divorce |

For a lot of people, divorce is a massive emotional endeavor. While the thought of untangling your life from that of your spouse might be heart wrenching, the process can be even more challenging when children are involved. In many instances, children aren’t even aware that their parents’ marriage is on the rocks, so the news of divorce can be a sudden blow, rocking the foundation of their day-to-day lives. If that has you concerned, don’t worry. Prepare.

Telling your children about your divorce

Breaking the news of divorce to your children can be frightening and stressful. After all, you might be afraid that the way in which your children find out about your marriage dissolution could affect your relationship with them for a long time to come. But there are some things that you can do to make the process go as smoothly as possible. Here are some of them:

  • Know what you’re going to say: Prepare how you’re going to start the conversation and actually break the news. Don’t improvise. The issue is so emotionally charged that those who wing it often end up saying something that they don’t mean to say or say something that can be interpreted wrongly. So prepare and practice.
  • Be united: It might be hard, but telling your children together with your spouse can avoid your children placing the blame on one of you for the divorce. It can also provide them with some glimmer of hope that your family unit will still continue to function to some extent even after the divorce is finalized.
  • Don’t blame: Don’t tell your children that your spouse is to blame for the divorce. This can breed resentment and make co-parenting a nightmare moving forward.
  • Reassure: A lot is going to change for your children moving forward, but there’s also a lot that won’t change. Remind your children that you’ll love them no matter what happens and that they are not to blame for the divorce. Also try to remind them of all the things that won’t change on account of the divorce. This can give them some sort of stability, which they crave whether they recognize it or not.

Start your divorce off on the right foot

There are a lot of issues you’ll have to deal with in your divorce. The best thing you can do starting out is develop a strong plan to address every aspect of your divorce. If you think you could benefit from some assistance in that regard, then it might be time to reach out to an experienced family law attorney.

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