Whether it was your idea, your spouse’s decision, or a mutual agreement, going through a divorce is not going to be easy. If you share any children together, you can expect things to become even more difficult, especially when it comes to telling them the news. To help everyone get through this transition as easily as possible, always keep these suggestions in mind.
- Be honest: You should not try to hide the truth from your children but you also may not want to give them complete details surrounding the end of your marriage. Give them honest but simple answers, such as “We don’t get along together” or “We don’t see eye to eye anymore.”
- Know the changes ahead of time: If at all possible, before you tell your children, discuss the definite changes that are on the way, such as one of you moving away or someone getting primary custody. The more you can tell them upfront, the better.
- Avoid the blame game: Do not point fingers at your spouse, no matter how difficult this may be. When your children see you blaming each other, it can cause them to feel confusion and a general sense of instability. It is also critical to show restraint and be respectful of your spouse.
- Stand together: Even though you are planning to dissolve your marriage and separate, you should try to talk to your children together. Be on the same page whenever you can and support one another during your discussions.
- Plan future conversations: Let your children know that this one talk is not the end of it, and that they can come to either one of you if they have any more questions or concerns. Openness is key to maintaining both of your relationships with your children
- Show love: Remind your children that you both still love them, and say it that plainly. Point out the little ways you will continue to show them love, such as picking them up from school or playing games with them. This is easily the most essential thing to keep in mind when going through a divorce but also one that is all-too-often overlooked.
Get Professional Counsel When You Need It
Much of your success with talking to your children depends on how much about your divorce you understand. Before you break the news to them, you should meet with a divorce attorney to prepare for the separation. This will allow you to explain everything to your kids with confidence and a sense of purpose.
If you live in New York City and need to tell your children that you and your spouse will be divorcing, you can rely on the divorce lawyers at Peter L. Cedeño & Associates, P.C. for the reliable and compassionate legal advocacy you deserve. Contact our firm today for more information on how we can help you get through this trying time.